Last night I narrowly escaped the cruel clutches of a conniving cockroach, intent on making a nest for its baby eggs in my inner ear canal, which would in time hatch and bury a tunnel into my BRAIN which would then rupture in an atomic bomb of ugly ass cockroach infants and grey matter !!!

Let me share my terrifying tale...

I was snuggled up in bed with the man, freshly laundered sheets, fan blowing a cool gentle breeze across the room, on the pleasantly dizzy cusp of dreamland about to be whisked off by the sleep fairies for a magical twilight adventure....

WHEN CAPT COCKROACH MADE HIS DEADLY SHOCK N AWE ATTACK

Cunningly disguised at first as a small hair tickle, my sleepy slumber state was soon replaced by HIGH ALERT after it fast became apparant that something alien was charging for the sacred earhole!!!

Luckily the man is semi growing a beard and is therefore hard core - like rambo - and leaped upon the scary beast with his bare hands, blocking the statanic bugs route of retreat and capturing it in a small transparent prison cell. (my hero) for we shall not leap the depths of its kind, and shall spare its insect life as an example to others....





Bluuuughghhh!