I have been struck by the God of party karma with his 'Terrifying stick of EXTREME ugliness'
As a consequence of excessive 2008 party funtimes, and as a preventative measure against continued debauchery in the big HK (I suspect that HSBC were also involved here in an effort to curb my party related spending habits) I have been hit hard, and repeatedly.. with the following ailments:

Party Karma God Punishment One:
First and most importantly I need to overshare the horrifying development of Satans third nipple growing on my FACE !
Now, I can see you all there tutting and muttering about 'here we go again, its probably a slightly inflamed spot caused by not enough sleep'
BUT Noooooooo... I like to exaggerate, you know this, it is by no means a secret trait of my personality.. but people, this thing is HUGE. Its actually that big I have had to seek the assistance of the legendary Dr Lee to prescribe large doses of very strong drugs to halt and heal the development of this new facial disfigurement.

Not wanting to completely humiliate me, the God of party karma did have the good grace to place the evil mutilation at the side of my face instead of on my forehead, for which I am very grateful. Thank goodness for hats and the strategic placement of the 3/4 dream length hair!

Party Karma God Punishment Two:
Next up, and I assume, closely related to the aforementioned newly opened ski range on my cheek, is the inflammation of my right eye. Its puffy and oozy and completely non cool.

Party Karma God Punishment Three:
I also have the onset of a cough and cold which has resulted in the wonderful by product that is the MAN voice, complete with red runny nose and bout of public sweats.

Party Karma God Punishment Four:
If all of the above is not enough I have also recently made the painful discovery of a wisdom tooth sawing its way through the flesh of my gum, whilst simultaneously drilling upwards into my brain incessantly and relentlessly.

And Finally, Lady Week arrived today so on top of everything else Im suffering my monthly reminder that possessing child bearing abilities completely sucks !!
Joyous of joys!
Im making a LOT of very ugly people look extremely attractive in comparison right now!

Lots of love from 'Tanya the Monster of Mankiness'

xoxo

Ps: 29 days and counting woop woop !!